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Moving up, moving on--Personal Post

16 April 2011
Last week I bought my ticket to return home to Houston for a few months but I will be leaving Italy for good for a while. I have had good times and bad times; been stressed and been elated; been knocked on my ass and have had many triumphs. Italy has been a great time of rest for me.

When I first left to come here I thought I would be staying for a long time, that I would call it home but what I have learned over the nine almost ten months I have been here is that this was just a rest stop before I begin the next part of the journey of my life.

You see when I arrived here, I had been in school for the last seven years full time--pursuing first a Bachelor's and then a Master's Degree-- while working 2 sometimes 3 jobs just to make ends meet and I was burnt out. And at the same time I had to watch three family members die from lung cancer in a three year time period and just had my heart broken for the first time at the age of 33. I could barely focus, think, I was collapsing and I did not realize that until I arrived in Italy.

The first 3 months I was here despite taking classes, I slept non stop. I was indeed on my much needed sabbatical and I was grateful that the year before I came into a little money to make this trip happen.

I was not able to find part time work while here so I ran out of money many times--which contributed to the stress I encountered--but my mom, my aunt in Paris and my friends here and at home--you know who you are--were amazing and they pitched in monetarily, gifts in the mail and prayers whispered here and there--even those who don't normally pray or believe in it sent up a few for me--so I could stay longer .

I have met some amazing people while here and worked with some amazing people as well, namely Pasquale and the Bon Bon Girls. I had the much needed time that this video speaks of--that most Americans are not allowed which contributes to our early burn out and death rates and a decline in creativity--gotta luv the corporate serfdom we have in place. And I have been able to fall in love with and perfect my craft--makeup-- and create a beauty inspired tshirt and accessories line called Lipstick Monologues--that I hope to one day produce on my own--and a successful blog. 


I have learned many things as well. One, you are always being watched, always being observed and judged. Always keep your game face on no matter your circumstances. Never let it fall no matter if they tell you you can be yourself because honestly, people only want to be around happy and successful people and if you are neither of those things, 'fake it til you make it.' I have learned my value and what I will and will not tolerate and I learned what I truly want in life--to be successful, to travel and experience the world and never look back with regret.

My return is not a failure because I do not plan to stay.  I plan to keep moving forward. I am excited to see my mom, my cousins and my dearest friends but sad about leaving a few friends behind. I have a few things in the works but I am waiting for them to pan out for me and once they do I will let you know. 

Needless to say, I am happy and satisfied and hopeful and optimistic for the first time in a long time. I am excited about the future and am not looking at it with trepidation, dread but enthusiasm and boldness. My time has come and I plan to take advantage of it and drag along those who were there for me, even when they did not want to be, in my darkest hour.

Happy weekend  and here's to the rest of your and my life!